On what I learned, lost & loved in 2011

Today is the 2nd day of 2012 and I’ve been sitting here thinking about 2011 and how INSANE it was! It was by far one of the hardest yet most fulfilling years thus far. A year filled with love, loss and lots of learning. 

Two months into the year I took my life into my own hands and permanently left a relationship and an ideal that I had fallen out of love with and was pretending too be in when I learned how important the little things in a relationship were too me. 

I learned that the people you always thought would be there for you and have your back when you need them the most are the people that are the hardest to get in touch with. 

I learned that the people you NEVER thought would be there for you, or you were disconnected from are the ones standing alongside you at the battle lines.

I learned that your mom can and will say and do very hurtful things to you that you can forgive her for but can’t forget and that it will make your relationship very rocky.  

I learned that I am a huge complicated emotional mess.

I learned that my weakest days made me the stronger.

I learned how start communicating my feelings to those around me instead of suppressing them and letting them fester. 

I learned that I am stronger then I thought I was.

I learned that everyone is fighting a hard battle.

In 2011, I lost 2 family members and learned that life is too short and to take in every moment and live everday that you are given to it’s fullest. You never know when your number is up. 

I felt like I lost my mind for about the first 4 months of the year.  I felt like I didn’t know what side of the world was up somedays.  I felt numb, but found that sleepless nights helped me realize what is important to me and how to deal with the emotional mess I was hiding for months/years.

Some of the highpoints of 2011:  I found a soul sister for life and had a therapeutic weekend, I found new love in an adopted baby bulldog named Tank and share him with someone who knows me better then I know myself and am thankful for everyday. I turned 30 with a minor freak out and crossed off a few things on my bucket list. 

So here’s to you 2011 it’s bittersweet that you are over, we had a very emotional journey but so many good things came out of you. Here’s to 2012 being better.